Tuesday, January 22, 2013

MAKOSA 6 HUTAKIWI KUFANYA UKIBREAK UP NA MTU,KAMA KWELI UMEMAANISHA

Haya haya hayaaaaaaa(kwa sauti ya Gossip Cop Soudy Brown)....Niko nalalaaa..Hapana!

Ni Muda mwingine wa kutiririka...

Lakini kama ilivyo Maombi kabla ya Chakula,basi niwaombe wale ambao bado hawajajiunga na Huduma yangu ya Simu Ya Mkononi-Seth Straight To Your Phone,please mfanye hivyo..
Ni rahisi tu,Chukua simu yako kisha tuma neno SETH kwenda 15678...As Simple As That! Please support your Boy,Your fellow Tanzanian....
Ukijiunga humo,I guarantee you and Your Love Life will never be the same! KARIBU!

Leo tuangalie issue zinazohusu Break Ups...Hili ni jambo baya sana kwenye Relationship kukutokea kama ulimaanisha..kuna watu hawamaanishi so hata wakibreak haiwaumizi hata kidogo,siku 2 tu yuko freeshiiii,anamingo kitaa!

Ngoja niongee na wale ambao mko kwenye Relationship...Wengine mlikuwa kwenye Relationship,mkapitia Break Up,mnajua inavyouma,na wengine tangu mmebreak Up mmeshindwa Kumove on kabisaaa..yeah,kabisa,najua mpo...Ntawapa dawa leo,mtapona tu...
Wengine Mmebreak up halafu mmesusa..mmenuna,hamtaki kusikia kitu kinaitwa Love...Huwezi kususia Mapenzi...Mapenzi ni kama Maji...Usipokunywa basi utayaoga,ukisusa utakuwa mtu wa ajabu na utajikuta unapata tabia za ajabu maana unashindana na Nature...

Leo naomba tuangalie makosa 6 ambayo Lovers huwa wanafanya pale inapotokea Wanabreak Up,kinachosababisha Maisha yao yashindwe kuendelea au yaendelee kwa Shida.Jitahidi sana kuyaepuka makosa haya:

1.KUMFUATILIA EX WAKO ANAFANYA NINI,NA NANI

Kama umeamua kwamba Its Over,Go on with your life...Usiendekeze Jealousy ya kipuuzi...Umeachwa/Kuacha unaanza kufuatilia maisha ya Ex wako,yatakusaidia nini???He/She is gone,and gone for good..jipange kuishi bila yeye,jipange ku-heal maumivu as fast as you can,na tabia hii ni contrary na MOVING ON Strategy...Moving On Strategy hairuhusu ubongo wako kuanza kupanga Mbinu za kuwa Paparazzi wa Ex wako...

Kuna watu ni mabingwa kwenye hii...Atafungua akaunti mpya ya Facebook aanze kumwangalia jamaa yuko na nani...Au ex wake anaendeleaje....Akiona yuko poa ataanza visa...Wengine huenda mbali na kuanza kumtafuta New Man wa Ex GF wake au New Woman wa ex BF wake..Una matatizo makubwa...Atamtukana,oh we mwanamke malaya,we mwanamke hivi..Hizo ni dalili za FRUSTRATIONS! Dont expose your frustrations over a Past which is History...jenga Historia mpya..Acha huu upupu,simama,sema its enough,songa mbele...itakusaidia...ukistuck kwenye kumfuatilia utaanza kujipa hopes kwamba maybe atarudi..maybe,Muda unaenda,hupati Partner wa maana maana kila anayekuja unampiga kalenda ukihope mchizi/mdada atarejea...HAJI NG'OO!

2.KUTUNZA MEMORIES MLIZOSHARE

Kuna watu wanatunza meseji nyie,balaa..Hata Makumbusho ya taifa pale Posta haiko deep kama wao.....Anatunza meseji za tangu unamtongoza mpaka mmeachana...khaa!nimewavulia kofia..Especially wanawake,ur best at this...nooomaaa!

Sasa mmeachana,unatunza zile meseji,unalialia chumbani,unafungua Archive Folder..unasoma Malavidavi ya zile siku zenu mlizokuwa Paradiso ya Mahaba...unalia weeee kama kengele ya Ibada...FOR WHAT???

Kama umekubali aondoke moyoni mwako,ondoa vitu vyote ambavyo ni temptations za kukuremind kuhusu yeye ili usije ukarudisha kivuli cha mtu moyoni....Wanawake ur so weak katika hili,mioyo yenu hugeuka Piriton hapa,mnanyong'onyea weeee,yaani mnahisi kama dunia imekuangukia...I cant live without Felix...Nani kasema wewe,Pumzi unayo,Moyo unao,Macho unayo mawili yanaona,Tafuta Replacement acha uboya! Huyo Felix akigundua unamlilia,miezi 7 baada ya kuachana anajionaje Mfalme...Anajionaje King wako,anaona YESSSS,demu analia mpaka leo kwa ajili yangu...Atakutesa,atakuburuza-buruza hisia zako kama Guta la Soko la Buguruni....Umeumbwa na moyo mzuri lakini atauburuza It will look like Shit....

Destroy Picha zote zinazokupa Nightmares....Album zake za nini???Gallery kwenye Simu weka mbali kule choma ikibidi kama zinakupa matatizo....Hakikisha kila kinachomuhusu kipo kwenye Recycle Bin na delete completely kusiwe na room ya ku-retrieve data!

Ukifanya hivi utaona jinsi anavyopotea taratibu,na baada ya muda itakuwa Historia.....Sasa wewe kumbatia weeeeee mapicha yake...Soma weeee mameseji aliyokuwa anakutumia na kuchat naye...Halafu unajiuliza,Hivi why I cant forget him????Ni sawa na kula halafu unauliza mbona tumbo limejaa...Tumia akili,Ni Maamuzi magumu lakini kama unaujali moyo wako ni lazima uyafanye or else kuwa mtumwa wa mtu asiye-exist kwenye maisha yako!

Lingine,Epuka kwenda sehemu ambazo wewe na EX wako mlikuwa mnaenda sana...Kama mlipenda kwenda KIJIJI Beach kama ndugu yangu Jumanne Mbepo,ukienda pale mwenyewe unajitafutia shida...Utaanza kukumbuka mliogelea wapi...mlikaa kiti gani na kadhalika....Potea kutoka kwenye hizo Memory Zone kwa muda mpaka utakapokuwa Sure kwamba hazikusumbui anymore!

3.MASHEMEJI ZAKO WA ZAMANI BADO UNAHANG NAO

Hii ndo yenyewe...Amlipokuwa wote alikutambulisha kwa washkaji zake..mkazoeana!Mmeachana lakini bado wewe unahang nao!

Hapa kuna trick!Sisemi uwachukie,Sisemi kwa sababu urafiki na Mapenzi yenu yamekufa basi na hawa uwachinjie baharini LAKINI....Probability ya kumeet na EX wako ukiwa na hawa mashem zako ni kubwa...Wale ni rafiki zake...Unapohang nao,ipo siku mtakumbana,na ita-trigger memory upya...You all know what am talking about...meeting na EX uliyempenda sio kitu rahisi,utaharibu siku yako hiyo na pengine wiki nzima..hata kama ulikuwa umeshaanza kupona,tunakurudisha LOVE ICU upya!

Jitahidi kukaa mbali na Mashemeji wa zamani especially zile siku za Mwanzo mwanzo ukiwa mmebreak,angalau jipe miezi kadhaa ya kukaa nao mbali,ukishazoea kidogo unaweza kuanza

Kuna watu mnashindwa kumove on kwa sababu hii....Kama Mashemeji ni tatizo,wapotezee kidogo mpaka utakapoona kamoyo kako kamestabilize then unaweza kuchill nao tena

4.UNAKOSEA MESEJI ETI...AU UNAMPIGIA SIMU ETI UMEMMISS...JINGA!

It doesnt make sense ila watu wengi tu tunafanya haya....Kuna muda unabanwa,unasikia kawimbo flani ambako labda alikuwa anakapenda...KOSA! Unanyanyua simu,Nimesikia ule wimbo wa LONELINESS wa BABYFACE nikakumbuka kweli yaani...Hii Call itaanzisha mambo mengi sana maana mnaweza kujikuta mnaongea,mtakumbusha weeeee hadi mliusikia wapi mara ya kwanza na kadhalika...ukikata ile simu Moyo wako umeharibika upya,utammiss upyaaa,kidonda kinarudi upya...Please avoid that!

Wengine wazee wa tricks za Magumashi,anatuma meseji MAKUSUDI,Baby last nite u were so good,i like that style....Halafu anajifanya kakosea kamtumia EX wake..Madai yake amtie Wivu mchizi/demu aone kwamba Dah!Mwenzangu kumbe kashapona na anakolezwa huko alipo...kumbe hamna lolote! Una mijiwazo yako lukuki,hakuna cha Last Night wala nini....Mtaanza ku-conversate bila sababu yoyote ya maana na mtaishia pabaya utajikuta unaanza upya bin upya!

Wale wenye hizi mabo,acheni...Hii itakurudisha nyuma na usishangae 2 years huna Uhusiano wowote bado,na kama Unao unayumba kwa sababu bado unambeba mtu fulani moyoni wakati nafasi yake haikutakiwa kuwemo,unashindwa kujitoa kwa New Love uliyopata...mwisho wa siku unakosa vyote...kule kwa EX hakueleweki,na huyu Mpya anakuona huna msimamo kwa kumbeba jamaa bila sababu zozote za maana!

5. KUDUMBUKIA KWENYE ULEVI NA STAREHE NA UKICHECHE/UPLAYER ILI KUMKOMOA

Tit for Tat wanaita....kwamba ukimwaga Ugali yeye anamwaga mboga....Watu wengine wameanza Ulevi wa kupindukia eti kisa Break Up...mtu anaanza mapombe eti kuondoa mawazo....Let me be very Clear here....POMBE HAIONDOI MAWAZO.....Narudia!POMBE HAIONDOI MAWAZO NA HAISAHAULISHI CHOCHOTE!

Utakunywa,utalewa tilalila,Utaamka ukiwa yuleyule! Na ukipata Marafiki wapuuzi wasio na msaada wanakusapoti kwamba kula bata,this is ur time...Jamaa alikuwa anakubana sanaaaa,hata outing ulikuwa hutoki yeeaaahhhhh we are divaaasss let us show him...SHOW WHO STUPID???

Unamshow nani...Hela utamaliza za kwako...Mwili unaounywesha Mipombe ni wa kwako....Na Kidney Failure na Kisukari utaumwa WEWE...Dont show anyone..Use ur brain.Usiingie kwenye Ulevi na Umalaya kisa UMEACHIKA,huo ni ujinga uliotukuka!

Wewe sio wa kwanza,mamako mwenyewe alishapigwa vibti 88 kabla ya kuolewa na babako,muulize atakwambia....Break Up sio mwisho wa Maisha..Ni challenge ambazo unapaswa uzishinde na Ukiweza utajikuta umejifunza mengi sana in life.

Wale Ma-Player,sijui ni VCD Player au DVD,poleni sana...Eti unaamua kuwa Player kisa Diana amekuacha..oh nilimpenda sana,Maisha hayana maana ngoja niwe Player....SAWA! Kuwa Player na UKIMWI utakuwa Kocha wako!

6.KUKUMBUSHIA....NAOMBA NICHOVYE KIDOGO TU ASALI HAPO KATI MTUNGINI

Kuna haja ya kuongelea hili kweli eti??Mbona najua hii balidahhh!!

Wazee wa kukumbushia Mupoooooo???Wadada wa kumiss Lips za EX mpooooo????Na wale wataalamu wa kutuma Meseji mmemiss Mjeledi aka Mjarabati mpoooo????

Unaachana na mtu mmeshindwana sera....Halafu mnamove on...unadate na mtu wako na yeye wa kwako...mnamisiana..mnakutana kwa siri...Mnatupia vituuz...Na mlikuwa mnapendana kwelikweli,mnadhani Feelings zitaisha...mnabakia Friends With Benefits.....Ma-New BF wenu na Ma-GF wanaona wamepataaaaa,kumbe nyie huku nyuma mna makubaliano yasiyo rasmi kati ya CCM na CUF kushare madaraka Zanzibar....

Hutamove on kamwe,utaanzisha Relationship mpya lakini una kitanzi cha mshkaji,mpaka mtakapojifunza kusema enouugh is enough....Lakini kila wiki 2 mna mechi kwa Hisani ya watu wa Marekani...Ah Msahauliwe!

3 comments:

  1. hahahhahahaha thats deep Seth....i like my name on it....hehehhehe

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ikiwa chuon itakuwaje maana kila siku unamuona

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahahaaaahh makubaliano ya ccm na cuf.. mbavu zangu mie

    ReplyDelete